My father was a remarkable man, not for monumental achievements, but for the quiet, steadfast way he lived his life. He embodied values often overlooked in our restless world that prizes novelty and individualism—a Christian faith rooted in the historic creeds and confessions, a firm commitment to community, and a deep connection to place.
Throughout my life, countless people have told me that my father was “a good man.” While this is an extraordinary complement, it became familiar to me due to the frequency at which I heard it. My father did not seek this recognition; yet the way he lived and carried himself each day spoke volumes to those who truly knew him.
When my father retired from Gunite, he received a modest cast-iron skillet as recognition of his 45 years of service. He did not want a watch or a clock; he wanted this cast-iron skillet. This token, forged in the oldest continually operated business in our community, underscores his character and values.
That skillet signifies my father. It was crafted by pouring molten metal into a mold, the shape of which determines its final form. Similarly, my father’s character was forged through the experiences and relationships that defined his life. The pan serves as a tangible representation of his dedication, resilience, and the indelible mark he left on those around him, which was itself a manifestation of the Spirit’s work in shaping him into the image of Christ.
When we think about how we will remember someone, we might assume it will be the conspicuous aspects that will endure: their physical appearance or their most significant accomplishments. But as I reflect on my father’s life, I realize that he lives in my memory most vividly through the countless small, seemingly ordinary instances that often go unnoticed: his posture and expression when surveying a project; his manner of pointing with an arthritic finger; his fervent shout as he cheered from the crowd at my baseball games.
I was given a rare gift: being raised in the same community as my father, born in the same hospital, delivered by the same doctor, attending the same schools, and raised in the same church as his mother. Multi-generational connections to a specific place are exceedingly rare and overlooked. I have come to appreciate them more with age, recognizing the value of rootedness, of knowing and being known in a community over a lifetime.
To understand my father’s significance, one must recognize the subtle influence that flowed through the lives he touched, like a gentle undercurrent. His life was a testament to the power of living with integrity, and of finding purpose and joy in the mundane moments that comprise a lifetime. While his effect may not be immediately apparent to the casual observer, it pervades the lives of those whose paths intersected his own, sharing a common history and community. My father’s true remarkability is not measured by the standards of his achievements, but by his steadfast character, through which he imprinted upon us the indelible mark of “a good man.”
